Staying the Course

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

When we decide we want something or want to be able to do a new thing it’s difficult to have the patience to achieve it or to wait to get it. The quote above is something my senior debater has said to me several times in only a handful of lessons.

Yes, I want to know how to be good now. But in order to start with zero knowledge and achieve a decent level of debating ability there is a lot of groundwork that goes into the learning process. It takes countless hours of practice,and read as much as I can before I can even debate in the big tournament.

As with many things in life though, it’s the long enduring journey rather than just deciding upon something and having it. Many times we give up before we get whatever it is we are trying to have.

Attending university is a good example of something that takes time and endurance. We take classes that we have no idea how they will help us with a particular job. A lot of it feels like a waste of time, but it’s just part of the deal. If nothing else, a degree shows that a person can stick to something long enough to finish.

Most of what we have in life that means something to us took a lot of work and effort. It takes that in relationships, getting a degree, building a house and numerous other situations. Things that come easy rarely give us a whole lot of pleasure or self worth.

Also to achieve the things we desire we must often compromise something else. If we want to get a degree, for instance, we may have to give up something that we enjoy while we attend classes and study. If we want to build a long-term relationship with someone we might have to give up certain things sometimes to spend time with that person. Just as with learning debate skills, it takes patience and time.

If we truly want to achieve or have a particular thing we will do what it takes to do that. If we don’t care much one way or the other, it will show and eventually we’ll let the thing fall to the wayside. Most of us lead busy lives. Yet we want to do new things and stretch who we are. We may want to find someone to spend our life with, learn a new trade, or learn something for fun, like a musical instrument. Most likely that will take compromise. We have to decide if it’s worth giving up something else to fit in what we say we desire. If not, then we really don’t want it much.

If we really desire something we will compromise and do what it takes to have it.

words can hurt

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil — there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.”
—Frank A. Clark

Talking about our friends and enemies is a pretty common thing to do. We don’t always mean to be evil and hurtful when we pass things around amongst our acquaintances, but we still do it.

Most of us feel a tinge of guilt when we find ourselves in the middle of a situation with friends where things have been passed around amongst those involved and those who have no part in the incident. We hear something, we repeat it, and then it gets passed around. By the time it gets back to the person who is being talked about it is a hurtful thing.

It’s like the secret game we used to do in elementary school where someone would whisper something into the ear of another and then go around the whole classroom repeating it to the next person in the row. Once it got to the last person and they repeated it out loud it never came out the way it started.

So it is with gossip. And even if gossip were repeated exactly as the incidents happened, it still becomes hurtful to those involved.

Even the truth does not need to be passed around by us if it’s not our issue to talk about.
It is a difficult thing to keep secrets or not to repeat things that we know about another. However each time we do it we hurt ourselves and the person we talk about. It’s just hurtful, negative energy that we don’t really need to be putting out there.

Spend more time showing kindness than you do gossiping.

miss XOXO

I can't sleep and I have this pain in my heart I really do.I miss xoxo a great deal nonetheless.Things happen that you dont expect.I'm very sad but still don't know what to do about it.In somewhat different ways we are both stubborn people.Occasionally i think of how i feel as a weakness,like get over it and move on but it still bothers me.I must be such a fool.This is emotional needyness of someone who is incomplete and has no life.That is the conclusion I have to make.